The Empty Nest - A Little From My Journal

It’s been four months. I knew the pain would end, but I didn’t think it would happen so quickly. When I think about how the situation began, I feel hurt and sadness, but thankfully it doesn't last. I mean, our goal was to send our son out into the world as a productive young adult. And that is what we did.

I really don’t like the term “empty nester” but I will embrace it since that is what I became four months ago.

The Empty Nest - A Little From My Journal

Long before I found out I was pregnant, I determined in my heart I would not be the type of parent who would keep their child from growing, to experience life and its ups and downs. Even a young adult child that chooses to live at home, he would experience life and learn from any of the hard lessons it brings.

But I was also not going to be the parent to throw open the door on an 18th birthday and send my child packing. Who says we stop being a parent when the child turns 18?

My son was 21 when he moved out to spread his wings. How he did it blindsided us, but once we began breathing again, I knew everything would be alright. This is my boy. For nine months, he lived as close to my heart as possible. The bond we have will never break and nothing he can do will cause me to not love him or to turn my back on him. 

I quickly had to learn to have an open heart and mind, while keeping my arms open, so he will not feel that I am pushing him a way.

For several weeks, my heart was sad. “Today, my heart is sad. Sadness that comes with missing the sound of his footsteps when he comes home at night. The sound of his ‘I love you Momma’ in the mornings when he leaves for work. Finding the lost sock we’ve searched for days. Seeing the empty space where his computer and equipment set. Wishing there was a dirty glass left for me to wash. The sadness will fade.’’

The sadness faded. And during that time, my heart was rejoicing. “My heart is also rejoicing. I did what I set out to do–raise a child who would be successful and accomplished; a young adult who knows how to work for what he has and not expect a hand out; a young person who could think for himself.”

We celebrated the 22nd birthday earlier than normal since my husband and I traveled the week of his birthday. Texts were sent and a phone call was made on that special day from Virginia.

I’m looking forwarded to this chapter of my life and our marriage. With me being back at work full time, year round, things have gone back to what it was like when we were first married. There’s more help in cleaning up and keeping things clean. If one of us decides to have take out for supper, the other is eager to join in.

In the end, I may just grow to like the term “empty nester”.