Learning to Communicate - 5 Tips to Help

Communication is vital in all relationships and it’s a must for any marriage.

When the line of communicating with each other is closed our natural defense mechanism builds up barriers and they begin to spiral out of control. Learning to communicate with your spouse shows you care about them and your marriage.

Learning to Communicate – 5 Tips to Help

Be a Listener

A major factor in communicating is listening; true listening. By giving your full attention to your spouse while speaking without butting in shows them what they have to say is important to you. If clarification is needed, ask for it. Questions like, “I’m not sure what you’re saying, or could you repeat that?” are simple enough questions that won’t come across as being judgmental or uncaring.

Be Aware of Emotions

If you’ve been together for a while then you know the emotions your spouse has during times of discussions. Show the love and respect you have for them, don’t belittle them because they easily cry or clam up. Look them in the eye and say their name when you are talking to them. A touch on the arm or hand will let them know you are in tuned to what they have to say.

Be Empathetic to Their Viewpoint

There are two people in this relationship. Each one has a viewpoint and for many they are different. Instead of trying to change the other, be considerate and not judgmental. If the discussion is a hot topic, and emotions are beginning to run wild, consider taking a break from the discussion until a later time.

Be an Encouragement

Be encouraging with your words. While the discussion may not be something you are passionate about or really want to discuss, encouraging the other person lets them know they are valued. The subject of the discussion is important to them, let them know it’s also important to you.

Be Slow to Speak

Think before you speak. Are you using wisdom with what you are about to share? Think it through before speaking because wisdom helps in these situations.

Learning to communicate takes time because we are not born with a natural talent for it. Don’t give up. Communicating is a joint effort. In a marriage, good communication allow couples to talk freely about anything.

One last important factor of good communication as a couple is it shows your children it can be done and they have an example to follow.

If you found this post helpful, you can find my other posts on marriage here

Honoring Our Husband: Rising Early in the Mornings

When I was single and going to college, I worked in a school lunchroom. Yep, I was the lunch lady! It was the perfect job for me to attend classes at night. No matter what, I was always home by 2:30 in the afternoon and had time to study and do whatever before I had to leave for class. I learned some interesting things from some of the ladies I worked with.

I'll never forget a conversation between some of the ladies. Most of the ladies were old enough to be my mother and some were closer to my age and all of them at that time had healthy marriages. One lady told how she got up every morning and fixed coffee and took it in to her husband so he could drink it while he was getting ready. Another, made a snide remark and said something like my husband would want to know what I was up to, bringing a cup of coffee. With that comment came giggles and laughter.

I spoke up and said, my mom does that; she takes my dad coffee every morning so he can drink it while he is getting ready for work. My sweet friend knew my mom and said she could see her doing that.

Honoring Our Husband: Rising Early in the Mornings

The one thing these ladies had in common; they got up with their husbands, cooked breakfast, packed a lunch, and gave them a kiss and told them have a good day. This was something my mom did every morning when my dad worked. When my husband and I got engaged, his mother told me, "Don't start doing something for him, unless you are willing to keep doing it for the rest of your life." I was blown away when she told me that. She was a wife who got up and did little things for her husband every morning and when he returned in the evening. Why would she tell me this? I had no clue!

 After all these years, I still want to scratch my head and wonder what she was talking about. After almost nineteen years of marriage, I still get up with my husband in the mornings. Breakfast is cooked, lunch is packed, a kiss and have a good day is spoken at the door. I can not count on my hands how many days my husband has gone to work with me still laying in the bed because it has never happened.

Why do I get up in the mornings with my husband?

• I had a good example in my mother.
• Proverbs 31:15 talks about the wife getting her day started while it is still dark.
• I enjoy the quite moments I have every morning with my husband before the daily grind weighs on him. I never know when when these moments could end, so I take advantage of them.
• I pray for safety and a peaceful day as soon as the door closes.

 While some would say I'm old fashioned - I look at this as part of my ministry to my husband.

5 Ways I Pray For My Husband

With all the nonstop discouraging headlines of a young Christian reality TV show family, it only shows that Satan is out to destroy ANY family he can. It doesn’t matter who the family is from the famous and rich to the unknown and poor, Satan wants to destroy Christian marriages. While I’ve never been drawn into watching this particular TV program because I did not agree with the way the family was exploited and several other things in their lives, I can’t help but hurt for another Christian family. As a wife, I know I have to pray for my husband, there is no one else to do it for him but me. These are five ways I pray for my husband, daily.

As wives, we have to be on our guard - we can’t sit by with our eyes closed to things going on in our lives just because we are Christians. Being a Christian does NOT automatically keep us from these problems. While many of us are in a “protective” environment at home, our husbands are exposed to things daily in their lives while at work and around other people. Those things are easily brought into the home when they return.

If we don't pray for our husband, who will?

Five ways I pray for my husband

Protection – this is far more than just getting him back home from work or errands. He needs a hedge of protection around his mind, eyes, ears, mouth, hands, and feet. His whole being needs to be protected from the things of the world. (I Peter 5:8, Ephesians 6:11-18)

Obedience to God – My husband needs to be obedient to God’s will for his life. Whatever God’s will is I pray that my husband will be willingly obedient to it. (Proverbs 3:5-6, James 4:17)

Leadership – God designed the husband to be the leader in the marriage and home. I pray that I am the kind of wife my husband can be that leader for; I don’t want to be a hindrance that causes him to not be able to lead. (Ephesians 5:23-25, I Peter 3:7)

Wisdom – My husband needs wisdom in everything. I pray that his heart and eyes are open to understanding and that he will continue to fear the Lord. (Proverbs 1:5-7, Ephesians 1:16-19)

Strength – My husband’s job requires strength, living a Christian life does too. I pray my husband’s physical strength will continue so he can work to his fullest. I also pray my husband's spiritual strength will be strong in the Lord in is daily life. (Ephesians 3: 16, Ephesians 6:10, Joshua 1:9)

I pray that God will be the center of our marriage. He is the only One we can truly depend on to keep ourselves pure and our marriage pure and together.

Created for a Purpose

The women found in the Bible have a story to tell. It’s important for use to listen to their story because we can learn much from them. Eve, the first woman to ever be created by the hands of God had a purpose just like you and me.

Created for a Purpose

I am reading through the book All the Women of the Bible by Edith Deen.  Inside this little gem you will find all the women who are mentioned whether by name or by an association of an event going on in the Bible.  I came across this book sitting on the bookshelf at my parent's house, it belonged to my grandparents originally. After flipping through the pages, I quietly slipped it into my things, hoping no one would ever ask about it. So far, so good!

Several months ago, I started journaling some ideas that really stood out to me while reading. The first chapter is all about Eve. Have you ever wondered what she must have looked like? To be personally created by God's hand, formed from Adam's rib. To have perfect hair, skin and the perfect figure (I think most of us would be surprised by what God considers the perfect body). She was a perfect, sinless being. She must have been amazing!

Eve was created for a purpose. She was meant to be Adam's helper and completeness. I love this thought that is found in this chapter. "The real essence of the story is that man and woman were made for each other, that woman is bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh, therefore they are not all that God intended them to be until they are together." There's nothing more to say about it, it speaks for itself.

Marriage is a divine institution; God intended for it to be holy and pure. Marriage was and still is intended for one man and one woman only. Eve was created to be an equal, not a doormat for Adam. She was not to be the head of the household, but submissive to the head, her husband.

Knowing how Eve was close to the Lord and that she spent time with Him in the Garden of Eden on a daily basis is a little hard to understand how she was easily tempted. But she was and made a ghastly mistake; she chose to eat of the fruit and encouraged Adam to partake of it. Of course, her sin had a lasting consequence on all people.

Thankfully, we have a Heavenly Father who is FORGIVING, GRACE GIVING, MERCIFUL, and LOVING.  A Heavenly Father who is willing to send his ONLY Son to earth to take the place of our sin.

Just like Eve, you and I have been Created for a Purpose.

Honoring Our Husband: The Forgotten Lunch

Earlier this week, my husband left his lunch at home. I tried calling him before he got too far down the road, but he didn't hear the phone in his pocket under his coat. This was the second time he left his lunch in about 3 weeks. The first time it happened, one of the men he works with was out this way plowing snow and offered to pick it up. He declined the offer because he knew I would probably be a sleep and I was.

Honoring Our Husband: the Forgotten Lunch

When he came home the other night, I had started to joke with him about not making it anymore if he left it home again. Before I could even tell him, he told me about a man at work telling that how he has had to make his own lunch for several years now all because he left it at home. My husband continued telling me how he spoke right up and said," My wife would never do that. In fact, she would tell you, it is part of her job. From the day we got married, she has made my lunch, no questions asked." When I hear about working men having to do something at home because a wife refuses to do it, it breaks my heart. A wife is suppose to be their husband's helper.

When I heard all of that I felt good. Boy, I'm glad I did not have the chance to joke with my husband. Yes, I could have because he is that kind of person, but I did not want to ruin the fuzzy feeling I was experiencing.

 A simple packed lunch can make a happy husband!