To Suffer Together

When I took my new job, I didn’t realize just how much I would be suffering together with others in my community. I love my new job! It’s not a job, but a service. The religious side of me would say it’s a ministry. But what I do is a service. Serving others.

When I began journaling my thoughts, I searched for the word compassion. I came across several different meanings.

sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others

a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering

sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it

But the words that clicked for me were to suffer together. That was my “aha” moment.

I have always been aware of the fact of hurting people and hurting families. I just didn’t realize how many were hurting. Poverty, drugs, alcohol, mental illness, and evil actions cause hurt. It would be fair to say one of these hurts has affected us all.

Each day, we wake up and we focus on ourself and family. Do we think about those whom we encounter throughout the day? What about the neighbor 2 houses down? What about the co-worker who seems to have it together, but in reality, their life is moving out from under their feet like the sand at the beach? What about the little tailgater we deal with some mornings on the way to work? Do we think about them? Probably not.

It took me a little over a year of job hunting to find the job that was rewarding. I wanted rewarding. I was willing to leave a job that paid very well, because I had to have rewarding. That job was okay. It paid the bills. But the last year I was there, I felt the life draining out of me. What I was doing was not rewarding.

This past year, I applied for jobs that would not have been rewarding, but they were closer to home. I felt if I was closer to home, that would outweigh the rewarding, if I couldn’t find a rewarding job. One job would have been a little rewarding, as I would have been helping grieving families in the ordering process of burial monuments.

Our little town is small. I knew it would be very hard for me to find a rewarding job that was close to home that paid enough. I’m closer to home than my last job, I have about a 30 minute drive. I’m okay with that. The somewhat short drive gives me time to decompress. To separate myself from what I do during the day to focusing on my home and husband.

While I will not share where I work, because of the presence I have in the community. I will say that when I was told about the position, I knew if they hired me, it would be rewarding.

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines compassion as

A suffering with another; painful sympathy; a sensation of sorrow excited by the distress or misfortunes of another; pity; commiseration. compassion is a mixed passion, compounded of love and sorrow; at least some portion of love generally attends the pain or regret, or is excited by it...

Suffering with another, I’ve done that. I have felt the painful sympathy listening to caregivers. The misfortunes of others have excited my sensation of sorrow. I have felt love and sorrow at the same time. My love for these families grow everyday.

Over these past weeks, I realize the word pity for some is an ugly word. It’s obvious they don’t know the meaning of it. While hurting people may not want another’s pity, they crave another’s compassion.

Pity = Compassion = to suffer together.